When I was pregnant with you I often had the book “What to expect when you’re Expecting” at arm’s length. I have long been fascinated with pregnancy and birth and enjoyed looking at the diagrams and the details of how you were developing. However, there was very little about your arrival that could be found in a manual. It was like a hurricane blew through our lives and all expectation blew away with it. After your birth I have not picked up one single book on parenting. I am trying to use my own guidance paired with the experience of your Daddy.
You are teething quite heavily at the moment and you feel very uncomfortable. There have been many nights lately where you have had broken sleep, therefore so do I. A few nights ago you struggled to settle at bedtime and it was clear you were very agitated with pain. I took you into my bed with me to soothe you to sleep. My dinner would wait until later.
As we lay together with only the hallway light on to keep the darkness at bay, I caressed your face and your back to help you relax. I was studying the tiny blonde curls on the back of your head as you snuggled into a pillow. I became aware in that moment, that while you are in the body of an eleven month old baby now, you will grow into a man.
Obviously this thought had occurred to me prior but it had been about me being well enough to see you grow up. This time it was more about the realisation of the incredible possibilities that await you. When you think about a little seed, it is hard to imagine that a massive stately gum tree is contained inside it. A tiny grain that will birth a big strong tall eucalyptus.
That tree will grow to support wildlife and create oxygen for us to breath. Its root systems will stabilise the soil, prevent erosion and house microcosms of insect life. Its shade will be welcoming in the heat of summer and its broad leafy branches will create shelter for an array of animals. All this, from one wee seed!
So Seamus, you are my precious little seedling. While you are young, you must be protected and nurtured so you can grow into a glorious, vibrant and strong tree. You are touched and kissed and cuddled so that you will be rooted in the knowledge that you are cherished. We lovingly give you nutritious, tasty food so you will sprout with health and vitality. We will teach you love of self, confidence and kindness so you can flower with compassion and the courage to be yourself. You will know that a whole contrast of experience is required in life so you can weather the storms as well as bathe in the sunlight, knowing that each will pass into the other.
From there, you can then create your own reality. The choices are endless, the possibilities infinite. Every thought you have is a seed of possibility. If you want a life of struggle and sacrifice, you can have it. If you want a life filled to the brim with joy, abundance and generosity, you can have that too. Think about the life you want, feel it as though it is already happening and watch as the mysterious mastery and infinite wisdom of life brings it to you. Plant your seeds well and you will be amazed at what springs forth.
“The disciples said to Jesus:
Tell us what the kingdom of heaven is like.
He said to them: it is like a mustard seed – smaller than all seeds, but when it falls on the tilled earth it produces a large tree and becomes shelter for all the birds of heaven” – The Gnostic Gospel of Thomas (20)