To my utter delight today, I discovered that our neighbour had made up a sign in your honour for the laneway that runs behind our house. Looking up at the ‘Seamus Lane’ sign post, I reflected on how I will parent you so that you can forge your own path.
I have already written to you about rebellion and the importance of it if you are to honour yourself. An important step in this process is the development of you as the individual. There is much power in learning to deny the well-trodden track so that you may venture out where others may never have stepped. There is a line in a song by Madonna which always resonated with me;
“Creation comes when you learn to say no”
When you can say no to the known, you can begin to explore the unknown and in effect, consciously begin to create your own reality.
This is the moment you will become the black sheep.
There is a well-known parable about a shepherd who has a flock of one hundred sheep. One of the sheep goes missing and the shepherd leaves the remaining ninety-nine to search for the one that got away. Osho spoke at length about the meaning of this. He explains that the sheep that left the flock has become the individual, has developed an ego and is in effect, the rebel. That makes them special, important, powerful. They cannot be led, they cannot be coerced and they are dangerous because they see beyond all limitations.
“That’s why the shepherd left ninety-nine sheep in the forest, in the dark night, and went in search of the one who had gone astray: because this one had become individual, this one had attained the ego; the other ninety-nine were without egos, they were a crowd”- Osho; The Mustard Seed.
I already see how you are forging your own path. You are determined and fiercely curious. I have discovered your persistence if I try to steer you away from something. You will return to it every chance until you have satisfied your inquisitiveness.
If I see a child in a public place having a tantrum, I always watch the reaction of the parent. The parent who is chastising the child, or yelling at the child, is having an ego reaction. They are worrying about the judgement of others. That is understandable as there is never so much judgement in our society as the subject of parenting. There is always someone ready to point the finger and tell you that you are doing it wrong. You see, children are seen as a reflection of their parents. If the child behaves in a way society calls ‘unacceptable’, then the parent is viewed as inadequate. That is a real blow to the ego.
Yet you are not a reflection of me Seamus. You are a human being, in all your incredible wonderfulness, currently wrapped in a very small package and here for an amazing adventure. The challenge for me is to drop my ego while you develop yours.
I expect your rebellion so when I see it, I see it as an opportunity to observe myself. Do I react, or will I respond? It all depends if I am present or not. I have experienced both but I know that when I respond to you, from a present moment of love, resistance dissolves. Then there is no battle of the ego, there is no tussle for you to do as you are told or for you to yield to me as your parent.
If I am judged for this, that is ok. I am showing you the way to freedom through the experience of being yourself, authentically, whatever that may be. It doesn’t matter if you are seen as a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ child, provided you are expressing your true self. I have seen your happiness and I have seen your anger and it is all exquisite to me because in that moment, you are expressing your truth.
I aim to continue to drop any expectations I have about you. I will Mother you with the intent that the only path you ever go down is Seamus Lane. There will be times that you are alone and other times when you have the company of someone walking their path parallel to yours. However remember, it is useless to walk someone else’s road, then your time is wasted. Not only that, but you are denying the expression of the divine through your uniqueness.
By becoming lost, by walking away from the crowd, you will not be blinded by illusion. Your ego will give you the daring to separate yourself. You need never seek a way to god because by walking your own road, god will find you. Then you will transcend separateness altogether and you will realise that we are all one. That is the only religion there is.
“Ninety-nine sheep create all religions, and the real religion happens only to the one sheep who has gone astray” – Osho