Artist in Residence

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Dear Seamus,

Often through life we feel like we are at the mercy of experiences out of our control. Certainly that has been the case for me. I have felt great pain when I don’t have an understanding or know the meaning as to why something is happening. To think that life is merely a chain of random events and has no true meaning, can bring much despair.

That is why it was to great relief when I began to discover the ideas around being the creator of our own reality. Could it be true that everything we are currently seeing, feeling, hearing and doing, is a physical culmination of all our thoughts up to that point? This information essentially put me back in the driver’s seat, knowing that I could now choose to create something different.

I have come to learn that the mind is merely a tool. A magnificent, amazing, powerful piece of equipment. The only question you need ever ask yourself is, who is running the show? By show I mean YOUR LIFE!

Given that your life is like a movie that you are acting out, who is writing the script? Is it your ego? A mad little dictator, controlling and conducting your every move and your every mood? Or is it an omnipresent, freedom loving sense of joy and possibility?

The ego is just a poor substitute for God. In fact the ego is the embodiment of all of our negative perceptions about God. The ego judges, punishes, blames and defends. The ego tries to convince us that we can have control and especially that we can control others. These things are not of God. The ego has personified God, which is impossible because God is a not a person. God is not a thing. God is an experience.

If you want to check in with how you are creating your reality, the clue will always be in how you feel.

When we feel anxiety, struggle, pressure, depression, we are experiencing life through the filter of the mind driven by the ego. In that state we feel we are separate from God, Source and Eternity. You need only remind yourself that you were never disconnected in the first place. So retreat from that world, from that particular creative reality and go back to yourself. That space within you is HOME.

When you are in the now, you are home. When you feel happiness, you are home. When you feel filled with love, you are home.

Many people have spoken of the experience of having dreams about being naked in public. I know that I have. In those dreams I feel shame and I want to hide. I always feel wrong in some way and like everyone is looking at me in a disapproving manner. I am exposed and vulnerable.

That is the equivalent of how I have felt in the past when I am being the mental projection of who I think I am. I was dictated to by the ego. An idea was formed about who I was. It was a mash-up of multiple messages from many different origins. My family, my religion, my schooling, my society, my peers.

All I yearn to do when I feel like that is to find a safe space, in both the dream and my waking life. That safe space is inside you at all times.

Return to it. Return home.

When you are at home, at your centre, you will stand in trust. When you stand in trust you can walk forward with great confidence into the great and mysterious unknown. Know that this unfathomable and mighty soup of mass consciousness is at all times, dynamic. Ever moving. Always creating. Always giving back to you.

When you are plagued with worry and limited by worldly matters, you will be frozen with fear to the spot. That is when you tend to want to go back, to retrace old steps to see if there is something new there. There is never anything new there. You may feel temporary comfort in the familiarity of what you find but you cannot stay in that place and evolve. It is impossible. How can you lovingly create the future if you will not step forward to meet it?

Understand that you are an outlet for the creative force of this Universe. Know that you are constantly building and constructing your reality. You are fashioning your life, you are painting your own canvas. Not only that but you are adding brushstrokes to a universal composition that every one of us is adding to.

Seamus, choose God over the ego every time. Create your life with expansive consciousness. With God you stand secure in the understanding of your brilliance.

The ego may send you on a wild goose chase, seeking satisfaction and happiness and even your life purpose! The great dichotomy is that you will have the most glorious adventures and find the richest of fortunes in the moment that you go home.

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure”

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

The Silent web of Creation

delicate web
delicate web

Dear Seamus,

Our world has become an increasingly busy place. There is a strong pull to fill up our days and hours with something to do. I was employed in plenty of workplaces over the years that put a price tag on your every action. In call centre work there was a button on your phone you had to push if you wanted to go to the toilet. That button took you out of the call queue until you went back to your desk and reactivated your phone. At the end of each month statistics would be calculated regarding how many calls you had taken, how long you had spent on each call and how long you had spent away from your desk in the bathroom. Each living breathing human being was reduced to a block of numbers which your Manager had to interpret in terms of your productivity. I was often pulled up on how long I was taking to deal with calls from customers. I was usually taking, on average, a good five minutes when I supposed to be aiming for two and half.

In other work environments I was berated for leaving work on official knock-off time while others stayed back for at least another hour or so. One manager begrudgingly paid me for my time when I was working eighteen hour days in the lead up to an event. They saw the dollar figure first and not the blood, sweat and tears I was putting into my job.

I did a lot of temping work in the year before I left Sydney, usually for companies who were trying to fill a vacant position. Increasingly I saw job descriptions that called for the skills to cover up to three different roles whilst only being paid for one. Businesses wanted their money’s worth. If a person doing that role only lasted two to three years under that kind of pressure, they were replaceable. There was a long line of others who were willing to put their hand up for the stress and strain.

I never enjoyed those types of jobs. I felt shackled to the desk when I was desperate for freedom. I loved the days when I could work in a creative way with my friends. I would jump out of bed on those mornings and arrive an hour early filled with enthusiasm and ideas. We would spend the day writing, filming, editing, creating new ideas and the time would be zapped away. I remember looking at the clock in disbelief that it was late afternoon already. It was that kind of productivity that I loved. The opportunity to feel my inspiration, to create.
However my creative endeavours did not pay the bills so I would soon be pulled back into the rat race.

Because I was working in jobs I hated, I felt the need to utilise my time outside work to the fullest and it soon became filled with social engagements. I enjoyed my friendships very much and tried to catch up with my friends as often as I could. My diary became filled with my scribbles about dinner with this friend, or drinks with that friend. An early morning coffee with someone or a trip to the cinema to watch a film. Then of course I needed to make time to shop for food or work clothes and maybe squeeze in a date with someone I had met on the internet. My life was full. Full to the brim. That was the way I had orchestrated it.

There was very little stillness and space in my life. I had always felt a yearning to discover more spiritually, so occasionally I would attend a Buddhist meditation retreat. The benefits would stay with me for a few weeks before they slowly started to fade and I was hell bent once again on filling up every minute of my day. When I say hell, I mean hell, because that was what I was experiencing a lot of the time. I would have moments of heaven in the company of my friends, or in being creative or being startled out of my mind and into my heart by a beautiful sunrise or a starry night sky, but they were fleeting moments.

We live in a world of machinery and gadgets that require recharging, yet we neglect to do it for ourselves. We don’t hesitate to put our laptops and phones on a charger when it is clear they are running out of battery, yet we do not take the time to recharge ourselves.

Stillness and space is the opportunity to do just that. It is the paring away of distractions to create the opportunity to feel our true selves again. To recharge with the connectedness to all things. To close the gap that the mind has formed by having us believe we need to be doing something to measure our worth. Most importantly, it the time to listen. The heart speaks in whispers. It is the original voice that never needed to compete as it was the only voice. The mind learns that who shouts loudest gets heard. So we go through our busy days with the countless streams of loud thoughts careering through our heads, competing for attention, and always demanding.

Our original voice does not make demands. It is gentle and loving and soft. It communicates through our feelings and when we give ourselves space and stillness, these feelings are subtle. When we ignore this beautiful language the subtlety is lost. The emotions get tied in with the thoughts and like a furious game of Ping-Pong, they fly back and forth. Our guidance system appears faulty as we endlessly question ‘what is right’ and never seem to get the answer.

I have made the commitment to meditate daily and so far, it is working out. First I found myself ‘doing’ the meditation, pushing myself to ensure I accomplished at least one session for the day. After a while I have noticed myself really looking forward to the meditation for the ‘beingness’ of the experience. It is time when I check in with myself. I am surprised at how I am now able to process any experiences I have had. It is like any issue I have is a small droplet in a delicate web. It has not been avoided or ignored, growing into something large, heavy and painful. It has not become regret, or resentment or blame. It is easy to dissolve it after focusing on it with love, awareness or forgiveness.

Seamus, I urge you to make time in your life to be still. To be and not do. This is an incredibly powerful tool because it is the direct link to the divine. You too are the divine and from the divine comes the potency of creation. From beingness, which is stillness, comes the inspiration to do, which is the action. We can easily get lost in the actions, believing that that is where the creativeness is. In fact, the creativeness is in the void and it gives birth to the action.

So my darling, find your stillness and observe the highest reflection of yourself. From that space you will understand the incredible potential of the divine within you. Then you will be free to be the creator and to see your wildest dreams and most intricate imaginings reveal themselves in your life.

“All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, from inner stillness”Eckhart Tolle